Angel Friends
Angel Stories

(This story is a bit long, but it is definitely worth the time it will take you to read it. Rick)

"Joshua's Story"

Joshua was born my oldest of three children and stricken with Cerebral Palsy, which made him total care. He could not sit, walk, talk or do anything for himself. The simplest of things such as playing with a balloon or staring into the lights of a Christmas tree brought my son incredible joy. His entire life was full of doctors and nurses invading our lives to give him the utmost quality of care. However, throughout his life the doctors would tell me he had no life expectancy. Joshua lived for 17 years from God's love and mine. Here are the events I witnessed to make my belief even stronger that there are shining angels that come through in every form if you are willing to see them.

Joshua's First Miracle

Knowing that the doctor meant well (but was only a man) I took it up with my higher power - God - and went to the hospital Chapel and lit three candles. The doctor had just told me Joshua could not be taken off the respirator and within 24 hours I would need to make the decision to shut the machine off. As I walked into the intensive care unit, I witnessed the doctors running around - he was not breathing.

All of a sudden the doctor said to wait - because he was breathing on his own - and tears of joy, excitement and total belief came. I was certain that many angels were surrounding my precious little one and I was to be the voice of his life no matter how long he was given to me.

Silent Communication

The silent communication that I shared with Joshua in the years to follow was complete and whole. It was unconditional and sweet. He was hospitalized over 100 times since his birth (as he did not have an immune system) and home care was needed after 8 years of his life.

The lessons of God's love will follow throughout along with angel encounters plus subtle whispers from my spirit guide.

At the age of 15 Joshua's heart specialist said that he was surely dying. All of his life I remained his rebel to fight his right to have dignity in his life. Some thing was different this time. First Joshua's shine was out of his eyes that sparkle and made me continue fever after fever and virus after virus. In addition to this, Joshua looked exhausted. The doctor told me that he had a strong heart. However, the ventricle from the heart to the lung was narrowing and shutting down. I stood in disbelief as to what I was hearing and the doctor wanted to leave the room as he was telling me.

But I said no.

Joshua understood everything - that he was just in a body that did not work and it was more his right to hear than mine. So we discussed what was to happen.

The Doctor said he would eventually suffocate. I took Joshua home and cried for weeks. I wasn't ready to give in to God and let his child go home. What was this fight for all these years?

I had to come to terms, and the transitions to follow was a nightmare, but the angels stepped in and guided me to be able to release.

I had to fill out papers on the event of his death. I put them in the drawer. I closed my mind off but Joshua came down with yet another virus and went into a coma. I then realized that I needed to address everything and everything needed to be in place so I could be with him if this were to happen.

In the paperwork it said, "Do you want a burial or cremation?" I couldn't get past this point. I begged God to give me a sign as to help me make this decision. Joshua got through the coma but I knew I still had to make this final decision and what if he didn't get through the next one?

I fell asleep every night wondering helplessly what I should do. Then one morning I awoke to the decision. It was just there, in my head as if some one head as if some one had made it for me. Joshua's work is not done. It was as simple as a matter of fact and I smiled to the heavens as I knew God had sent this from the angels.

I then knew in the event of my Joshua's death, he was to be donated to Science. To help educate doctors to help in research wherever they need but I never had doubt after that subtle whisper in the night into my sleeping mind. I profusely thanked God as to the ultimate help in a desperate situation. I always felt the presence of the angels close throughout the dying process of Joshua.

"Momma, I Love You"

On Monday, Joshua came down sick with yet another virus and I had in-home nursing come to check on him. The air made him sicker and being 122 pounds, I was unable to take him into the doctors office. Being in constant contact with his pediatrician via the nurses and myself, she stated it is yet another of what Joshua always battles - so push the Pedialite and keep the fever down.

By Wednesday, Joshua slipped in and out of another coma but we knew our ornery Joshua and we knew that he could turn the corner at any time.

I was walking into his room on Thursday to put some clothes up. I did not turn on the light as Joshua would start to seizure if any light or sounds were present when he got this sick. So the room was dark and I was quiet but the presence was thick in his room.

Something was there. As I turned to look, he was awake and staring at me. I said, "Are you okay Joshua?"

He looked right at me and said, "Mama, I love you."

I sobbed as I then totally knew my son was dying. I rushed to his bed and laid over him - stating how much I loved him and how proud I was of him throughout the years and thanked him as I knew how hard it was for him to say those simple words a Mother usually takes for granted.

See, Joshua could not talk at all - only baby talk due to the Cerebral Palsy affecting his mouth. I knew the angels were definitely there in the thickness and they were guiding Joshua to help him say what he needed to say to me, his Mommy.

I then told my daughter to go into his room and spend time with him. She cried but closed the door. I sat outside in hopes to hear the whispers of their secret conversations, but I obviously was not to hear as it was quiet.

A Single Tear

Friday evening Joshua slipped into the coma again and I called the doctor to help me to understand what was going on. She told me again that Joshua had done this so many times that he would probably pull through. However I knew different as it was a Mother's gut feeling and I tried to explain this to her. I also knew that I had made the final decisions not to have him die in the hospital in the cold and sterile environment not meant for a child but rather in his own house and in his own bed. So what was I looking for? Things doctors could not give me only God and his workers could. He was sicker this time and only I could walk this walk with him I suppose but again I felt the presence of so many in my house. On Saturday he was not responding to the light or sound at all. His eyes were fixed and the nursing came once again. But his was so unusual because the nurse tonight after telling me what I already knew said her husband rarely came with her but just happened to that night and was a reverend. I again looked to the heavens and said, "Thank you." At this point I was scared but yet in another sense, at peace. It was entirely peaceful throughout my house and I was alone most of the time with Joshua. After her husband came in, he said an awesome prayer asking God to transition Joshua back to him and to make his journey possible for me. The nurse stated what a blanket of peace was on my house and I replied, "I know, knowing and feeling the presence of so many angels near us." After they left, I broke out into tears once again. My dog Toshua paced back and forth. I collapsed onto the couch crying. She jumped up and put her paw on my hand and I looked up in amazement at her and one single tear was falling from my dog's face.

Saying Goodbye to Joshua

God gave me such a big job, taking care of my precious son for 17 years. I am sure to this day he sent so many Angels to help me through such a difficult situation -"to give his son back." Without those angels I would have never been able to let go. All Saturday night, I walked and paced. I sang to Joshua. I held him. I rocked him. I prayed to God at times. I had to set my chair back from his bed. 

The presence of the Angels was so mighty. There was at times, no room for me because they surrounded his bed. I knelt to his side and told him to go - that it was okay and that I would be fine. We could let him go to God and be at peace. Then I'd walk out of his room and fall to pieces once again. He struggled to survive and he struggled to die.

I always say now as I look back why would he have done it any different way? But during that dying process I did not understand why he needed to suffer so hard. I couldn't take it any more and begged God to help me sleep. It was around 4:00 in the morning that I feel asleep instantly.

Now if all of this wasn't angels and God, who was it?

I awoke feeling so guilty that I slept those two hours and ran to Joshua's room where he was still struggling to breath and his oxygen was at 39.

I called nursing and they came and went to get the morphine to help ease the pain.

Joshua died before they returned.

When he finally took his last breath, I said, "Fly, fly Baby. Fast, do not look back. Take him God." I swear that I saw him standing on his bed saying, "Look at me Mom!!!" 

And angels were flying around him and off he went.

Joshua's Memorial Service

I had a memorial service for Joshua and one of the things that told early in his story was his love for balloons. We had over 300 and when the guitarist got up to play - the balloons danced. I meant they truly danced.

People came up after and said, "Did you see that?"

Oh yes, I did. After all I witnessed sure I did. He was there as one of the Angels now. I wrote a poem and read it outside while everyone released balloons in his memory and when I got the pictures back (now mind you this was a beautiful, bright and sunshiny day) there was a perfect rainbow in one corner of the picture. But you see I was so in tune with the angels at this point, I was feeling things a lot.

I have more angel stories after Joshua's death showing me of God's love they are awesome and will share them later. Thank you for listening and God be with you and always remember quality of life is in the eyes of the beholder.

Shawna - Knoxville, Iowa

Have a story to share? Please e-mail us!